


Real-Life Romance for the Reluctant Romantic

by gmariam



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-21 00:37:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15545742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gmariam/pseuds/gmariam
Summary: When Jack starts acting romantic - flowers, pancakes, and every other cliche in the book - Ianto suspects something else might be going on. Sometimes he hates being so skeptical - and right.





	1. Chapter 1

I.

The weekend started off well enough.

After an exceptionally quiet day, Jack dismissed the team early Saturday afternoon, and Ianto suggested that he and Jack clean up, dress down, and head to a local pub for some food and a game of pool. They enjoyed a rare night out that didn't involve chasing aliens, and went back to Ianto's flat for a long, hot shag, falling asleep almost immediately until morning.

Which was when things started to get weird.

Jack was already up when Ianto woke, which was not unusual. He was reading, which also wasn't unusual—a small, red paperback he'd picked up the day before. And he'd started some coffee, which, despite what everyone else on the team believed about Ianto's control issues with the coffee machine, was completely normal whenever Jack spent the night at Ianto's flat. What was odd was the cream heart Jack had attempted to draw in the foam floating on top of the mug, complete with dots and swirls.

Still, it was nice and it tasted good, so Ianto didn't think much about the foam heart. He accepted an unexpected breakfast of beans, toast, sausage, and eggs from Jack with an equally unexpected kiss, and simply assumed Jack had slept exceptionally well and was in a good mood. Which could mean all sorts of things on a day off…some help around the flat, an afternoon shag and long nap, maybe a nice restaurant for dinner…

"So what do you want to do today?" Jack asked as they ate. They were sitting on the sofa, watching the morning shows for any unusual news reports that might drag them into the Hub on a Sunday. Ianto swallowed some toast and took a sip of coffee before replying.

"As long as a spaceship doesn't decide to fall into the bay," he said, gesturing at the television, "then it might be a good day to clean the flat, do some shopping, maybe—"

"Hang on," Jack said as he set down his plate. "I was thinking more along the lines of relaxing and fun. When was the last time we did something relaxing and fun? During the day?"

Ianto gave him a raised eyebrow. "I'm not sure we've ever done anything relaxing and fun during the day, unless you count that time we chased a Weevil through the Wetlands and Owen fell in. I'm not sure I've laughed so hard since."

"That was a good one." Jack grinned. "But I was thinking more like something that didn't involve Torchwood and aliens. Something for us." He took Ianto's free hand, lacing his fingers through and pulling Ianto toward him. Ianto tried not to spill his coffee at the sudden tug.

"We went out last night," Ianto pointed out. "And I had a good time, even if you did cheat," he added. "We could go out to dinner later, try something new."

Jack frowned as he ran his thumb along Ianto's wrist. "I'd love to try Toujours, but it's impossible to get into. How about I cook for dinner, something special?"

Ianto pulled his hand away and stood. "Last time you cooked, my kitchen was a disaster for a week." He headed into the kitchen to put his plate in the sink and refill his coffee. Things were getting strange with the touching and kissing and foam hearts. And Toujours was an upscale restaurant for couples, not the type of place they usually ate out.

"I'll clean it this time," Jack insisted as he followed, taking Ianto's mug and refilling it before Ianto could do it himself. "Come on, you know I'm a good cook. I can even make coffee."

"You had a good teacher," Ianto replied. "And while you'd make a passing barista, as a chef you are remarkably messy."

"The best chefs are," Jack said. "Come on—steak with béarnaise sauce, roasted potatoes, a chocolate torte. I'll pick up that cabernet you like, and we can enjoy a quiet, candlelit dinner for two without leaving the house."

"I don't have any candles," Ianto pointed out, his lips quirking up as he tried not to laugh. Something had got into Jack, that much was certain.

"There's one in the living room," Jack said.

"Tosh gave it to me when I moved in," Ianto replied. "And I don't think mandarin patchouli would go well with steak and potatoes. I like to enjoy the smell of meat." He leaned against the counter and grinned. "Besides, you need tapers for dinner candles."

Jack strolled over and wrapped his arms around Ianto's waist. "Then I'll get taper candles when I get the wine. But what do you want to do until then? I know!" He squeezed tighter, eliciting a surprised cough from Ianto. "Sorry. How about we go out to lunch instead of dinner? At the beach?"

"What?"

"You know, that sandy place by the water?" Jack asked. "We've never been."

Ianto wiggled out of Jack's grasp. "I've been to the beach."

"Not together," Jack replied. "We can go on a picnic."

Ianto laughed nervously. He was starting to wonder if Jack was putting him on. "You want to have a picnic at the beach? With me?"

"Who else would I go with?" Jack asked. He sounded serious, like suggesting a picnic wasn't wildly out of character for him, let alone the idea of them doing something so…so normal, domestic, even romantic.

"Let's stay in for a while," Ianto told him. "I have things to do around the flat."

"But it's beautiful outside!" Jack exclaimed. "I want to do something nice for you."

"It's cloudy and cool," Ianto said.

"It's not raining, it's perfect."

"You can help me around the flat," Ianto told him firmly. "And we can go out for dinner later."

"I'm cooking dinner for you later," Jack reminded him.

"It's really not necessary—"

"I want to," Jack insisted, his eyes intent.

"Fine." Ianto glanced around, grasping at something more level-headed before Jack came up with something grandiose like arriving at the opera in a horse-drawn carriage. "How about an afternoon film, then? We missed most of the summer releases."

"Brilliant," Jack said. "My treat, popcorn and all. Now, I'll clean up the kitchen while you shower."

"I can do it," Ianto protested. "You made breakfast, I'll do the dishes."

Jack turned him around and pushed him out of the small kitchen. "I insist. You did say I make a mess."

"I was only teasing."

Jack kissed him, leaving him somewhat dazed at the threshold. "It's not teasing if it's true. I could draw you a bath if you wanted to relax."

"Draw me a bath?"

Jack nodded earnestly. "Fill the tub, add some bubbles or oils or something."

Ianto shook his head, trying not to laugh, because once again, Jack sounded serious. "I don't have bubbles or oils, Jack. Just like I don't have candles. I'll take a shower, and I can even turn on the water myself."

Jack nodded and went to the sink to start cleaning up. Ianto watched him for a moment, wondering what had got into Jack that morning, and whether he liked it. It felt peculiar, like something strange was going on. Why was Jack suddenly acting so attentive, so caring, so—he hated even thinking the word again—romantic?

Ianto didn't mind not doing the breakfast dishes, but if Jack bought satin sheets and started throwing rose petals on the bed, he'd step in and put an end to it. He didn't need those sorts of things, it wasn't like them. They slept together and went out and had a good time, but romance…Ianto wasn't sure if he was ready for that with Jack.

Especially since he doubted it would last.

* * *

Jack cleaned the kitchen so well Ianto thought he must have called in a service; he even took out the rubbish. Then he took a quick shower before heading to the store for food. He told Ianto to wait for him—to sit down and relax for the morning, and that he'd help around the flat when he got back from shopping. Ianto didn't need someone under foot and took the opportunity to do some cleaning while Jack was gone, enjoying the quiet time puttering around his flat. He even put his feet up and read for a few minutes.

By the time Jack returned over two hours later, most of the chores were done. Jack looked positively chagrined, but Ianto assured him it was fine. After which Jack proceeded to pull out enough food to serve a small dinner party, along with several candles, a finely scented bubble bath, and a large bouquet of red roses. Ianto stared at it all, completely dumbstruck.

"I don't have a vase," he said.

"You don't?" Jack glanced around, as if one might magically appear from thin air.

"Never needed one."

"No one's ever got you flowers before?" Jack asked.

"I'm a bloke," Ianto pointed out. "I've usually done the flower-giving."

"You've never given me flowers."

"You're a bloke too. Do you have a vase to put them in?"

Jack's mouth moved a few times before he shook his head. "Good point, now you know what to get me for Christmas."

"A vase?"

"With flowers." He turned around and rummaged through Ianto's cabinet until he found a large beer stein. With a large red dragon emblazoned across it, it was a relic of Ianto's university days, a tongue-in-cheek gift from an old friend. Jack cut the stems in half, filled the stein with water, and plunked the roses into the water. It looked ridiculous.

"Jack," Ianto finally asked. "What's going on? Did I forget a holiday, a birthday, an anniversary? This is completely unnecessary."

Jack started putting the food away, ducking into the refrigerator as he talked. "None that I can think of. Your birthday was last month, mine is…well, whenever I want." He offered a quick wink. "St. David's Day is in March, our first date was in June, and Christmas is still three months away—so no reason."

"This isn't like you, you know." Ianto plowed on, determined to get to the bottom of it. Was Jack angling for something? A new toy, a new trick? An open relationship? Ianto hated having doubts, but he did—it was the nature of being involved with a man like Jack. Add immortality into the mix, and Ianto knew full well Jack wasn't one to throw himself into a committed romantic relationship that was doomed to end one day. Why was he acting like they were in one when Ianto had accepted they weren't?

Jack stood up and shut the refrigerator. "What's not like me? Wine, candles, good food? I am just as capable of doting on you as the next guy."

Ianto's eyes widened slightly. He waved his hands ineffectually in the air. "First of all, there is no other guy, and second—you don't dote.  _We_  don't dote. There's no reason for it—we're not like that!"

Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto's waist like he had earlier, a soppy look on his face. "Of course there's a reason," he said. "I—"

"Don't," Ianto warned. "Don't say anything else. Let's…" He struggled out of Jack's embrace. "Let's go out. I'm done around here, we can grab some lunch and—"

"And go to the beach," Jack finished. "We can pack a blanket and—"

"No," Ianto told him firmly. "We can catch a film before dinner, like I suggested earlier."

"If that's what you want," Jack agreed sneaking in a long, lingering kiss. "Let me check in at the Hub and make sure everything's good, and we're off."

"No news is good news," Ianto pointed out.

"I hope so, because I have plans," Jack said. "Go change, I'll call the Hub and then see what's playing."

Ianto nodded and left the room. Hopefully an afternoon at the movies would play out more normal. He wasn't sure how he was going to handle a romantic, candlelit dinner.

* * *

Lunch was casual, though Jack reached for his hand so many times Ianto had a hard time eating and finally batted him away with a laugh. The film was good, and Ianto almost felt like they were their normal selves, two men going to see a movie on a rare day off. Jack was slightly more attentive than unusual, constantly asking if he wanted anything else, but at least Ianto didn't feel like he was dealing with the alien imposter from that morning.

Dinner, however, was another matter entirely. Jack set him down in the living room with a scotch, a magazine, and some Glen Miller playing in the background, then went about preparing an exquisite meal of steak with béarnaise sauce, herb-roasted potatoes, sautéed asparagus with lemon, and a fresh loaf of bread from the high-end bakery where he'd also picked up a dark chocolate torte. He set the table, lit the candles, poured them wine—it was like being at a private restaurant. Ianto felt like he should have been wearing a dinner suit and silk scarf.

He tried to enjoy it, and despite his reservations, he did. Jack could cook exceptionally well when he put his mind to it, and the entire meal was practically perfect. After two glasses of cabernet, Ianto felt more relaxed, yet still he wondered what was going on and when it would end. It felt odd, at least for them. They did pizza and beer at the Hub, or fish and chips at a local pub. They weren't stars-in-the-eyes kind of guys, holding hands across the table, and Ianto felt like he was being wined and dined for a reason.

The chocolate torte was stunning, though Jack would have fed it to him if Ianto had allowed it. They enjoyed another glass of wine, and Ianto insisted on helping clean up the disaster that Jack had made of the kitchen. Jack started to look tired by the end; sensing a respite from the heavy-handed attempt at romance, Ianto reverted to their usual style and seduced Jack quickly and completely with a blowjob against the counter before taking control in the bedroom. If it was rougher than usual, Jack didn't seem to mind, and Ianto fell asleep satisfied that things would go back to normal in the morning.

* * *

Jack greeted him with heart-shaped pancakes the next morning. In bed. With flowers.

"Jack, it's Monday," Ianto said. "We'll be late if you keep this up." He poked at the pancakes, oddly thick and fluffy, his heart racing more with anxiety than appreciation. What had got into Jack? Some sort of alien influence, maybe possession?

"Tosh is already in, she said it's quiet. I told her we'd be there by nine."

"By nine?" Ianto exclaimed. "The world could end by nine!"

"No, it won't," Jack replied. "Aliens always wait until ten to invade." He waited for a reaction, but when Ianto only stared at him, he shook his head and continued. "Eat. We'll have a quick shower, pick up some pastries on the way in, and it'll be fine. We deserve it."

"Deserve what?" Ianto muttered, thinking they deserved a kick in the pants for being late, for taking time for themselves when anything could be going wrong. It was a Monday morning, after all.

"Some alone time," Jack answered. "Time to be normal people, to eat a real breakfast together."

"We're not normal people," Ianto replied. "And this is not a normal breakfast." He stabbed a heart-shaped pancake and stuffed it in his mouth. "This…this is American. We don't eat pancakes in Wales, Jack!"

"I know, it was hard to find the right recipe," Jack muttered. "Thank god for the internet."

Ianto stared at him. "You found a pancake recipe on the internet? You must be under some kind of alien influence or something."

Jack laughed and sipped his coffee. "Are you always so skeptical of romance, or just me?"

"Both," Ianto tossed back, then felt bad when Jack frowned. He tried to soften his doubts out loud. "Look, it's not that I don't appreciate the flowers and the steak and the pancakes, I do. But it's not necessary. I'm perfectly happy ordering in, going to the pub, eating toast for breakfast. I don't need all this."

"Everybody needs a little romance," Jack said. "Even us."

"Even us," Ianto muttered under his breath. "Now I know the world is ending."

"It's not," Jack assured him. "Need a refill?"

"I'm good," Ianto replied. He swallowed another pancake, thinking that as unusual as it was for a Welsh breakfast, it was quite good, even with the syrup Jack had slathered on top. "Thank you. I'm sorry if I seem ungrateful."

Jack kissed him, earning himself a set of sticky lips. "You're welcome. I'll clean up the kitchen and you can shower."

"I'll help and we can shower together," Ianto said. "You earned it."

"I suppose I did," Jack laughed. "Sounds good to me."

"That's your endgame, isn't it?" Ianto laughed as he set the tray aside. "You're bribing me for more sex!"

He was kidding, of course, because Jack didn't need to do such a thing: Ianto was more than willing and had made that clear from the start. Either Jack was sincere, or he had another angle. Ianto was determined to figure it out as soon as they got to the Hub, before the entire team knew Jack was buying him flowers and making him pancakes.

  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a quick, light-hearted poke at the 'Jack and Ianto as a romantic couple' trope. It has, however, grown slightly bigger and will probably be four or five chapters long as that dastardly interloper called A Bit of Plot barged with its evil sidekick, Some Character Development Too. Many thanks to Taamar for the inspiration. As so often happens, we were chatting about Jack and Ianto and the story magically appeared, with several lines direct from that conversation appearing in the next chapter. And many thanks to Summerstar as well for all her advice on everything from food to titles - any Welsh mistakes are my own! Thank you for reading – enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

II.

"Good morning, Ianto," Tosh whispered over his shoulder, almost causing him to jump. She grinned at his startled reaction "How's your secret scan going?"

Ianto lowered the portable scanner, hiding it behind his back as he turned around and smiled. "Good morning, Tosh. More coffee?"

"No thanks," Tosh said. "I'm more curious why you keep trying to scan Jack."

"I'm not trying to—"

"Ianto," she said. "You keep pointing it toward his office and muttering under your breath. You are clearly scanning Jack. Is he okay?"

Ianto set the scanner on the desk next to him and shrugged as he tucked his hands into his pockets. "He's immortal, of course he is." He glanced over his shoulder to where Jack was still on the phone in his office. "Would the Hub systems pick up anything unusual if he wasn't?"

"Like what?" Tosh asked. Ianto motioned toward the sofa, but went over to the coffee machine first, where he started a new pot anyway, knowing someone would want a refill soon. Then he went to the sofa and sat down next to Tosh, leaning forward on his knees, trying to decide how much to tell her. Eyeing the pastries Jack had brought in for the team, he decided against it, his nerves getting the better of him. He spoke quietly, so Owen didn't overhear, wherever he was skulking at the moment.

"Like alien influence, maybe?"

She sat up straighter, looking alarmed. "Alien influence? What kind?"

"I don't know—chemical, biological? Total android replacement?"

"What? Ianto, what's going on?"

Ianto fell back against the sofa. "Probably nothing. Just me overreacting to something normal people would understand and accept."

She looked confused. "And it has to do with Jack?" Ianto nodded. "Did something happen over the weekend?" He nodded again. "Did you fight?"

This time he shook his head. "No, not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact." He hoped she understood without him having to explain the embarrassing details.

"You mean…" She trailed off, still confused. "I'm sorry, I don't understand. You didn't fight, so you…?" He tried to spell it out with his face and a few hand motions. "Oh! You mean, Jack was romantic?"

Ianto sighed in relief. "Yes! It was weird, Tosh. Almost…lovey-dovey. Not like Jack at all."

"Oh, I don't know," she said, smiling as she sat back with him, more relaxed now that she wasn't as concerned. "I think Jack definitely has a romantic side to him. I bet he loves that stuff."

"Tosh, it's me," Ianto protested. "And him. We're not into—" he made air quotes "—that stuff."

"Maybe Jack wants more of that stuff," she suggested, mirroring his motion. "We could all use a little bit of romance, especially in this job."

"That's what he said," Ianto grumbled.

"Then maybe you should accept it." She bumped him on the shoulder. "So what was it like? Candlelit dinners and breakfast in bed?" She was teasing, which only made it worse that the cliché was true.

"On a tray with flowers," Ianto told her "Seriously, who does that?"

"Wait, were there really candles? And flowers?"

"And heart-shaped pancakes," Ianto said. " _American_ pancakes. The candles were last night, with roses and a home-cooked dinner. He even wanted to draw me a bath at one point." Tosh giggled, and Ianto couldn't help but grin with her. Looking back, it was even more ridiculous. "The pancakes were this morning. That's why we were late."

"It does seem a bit over the top, even for Jack," Tosh agreed.

"Exactly!" Ianto said. "Now, before I think about it anymore and what it means—"

"Oh, what do you think it means?" she asked. He ignored her the teasing lilt in her voice.

"—I'd like a thorough scan of Jack to be sure he's…well, that he's Jack."

"You're serious."

"Completely," Ianto replied. "Could you help me? If I call him out here, can you run some more detailed scans?"

"Ianto, I—"

"Please?" he asked. "Just to be sure. I want to know what I might be getting into."

"Getting into?" Tosh gave him a skeptical look, then patted his knee as she stood. "Ianto, you're already well into it."

He ignored the implication again. "Then you'll help?"

"If it'll put your mind at ease," she said. "I'll see what I find, which is probably nothing."

He could have kissed her on the cheek, but the alarms went off at that moment and Gwen came strolling in. At the same time, Jack came out of his office and leaned against the doorway.

"Nice of you to join us, Mrs. Soon-to-Be Rhys Williams," he drawled. Gwen was smiling broadly, her face lit up.

"You're lucky I'm here," she replied. "I could have stayed in bed all day today!"

"Not feeling well?" Jack asked, concern replacing sarcasm.

"I feel wonderful," she replied. "Absolutely wonderful. Rhys spoiled me like a baby this weekend. Cleaned the flat and bought me flowers, cooked me dinner and made me a bath—we even had these thick, heart-shaped pancakes this morning! They were delicious!"

Ianto exchanged a startled look with Tosh, who started typing on her computer immediately.

"Sounds like a good man," Jack teased. "I approve."

"Ianto," Tosh hissed at him, jerking her head to call him over. "How is it that Jack and Rhys did the exact same things for their partners this weekend?"

Ianto glared at her. "We're not partners, unless you mean in the working sense, out in the field, and then we're all—"

"Ianto," she snapped. "Get over it. What's going on?"

"I have no idea," he replied, surprised by her vehemence. "Maybe it's just a coincidence."

"When does that ever happen around here?" she demanded.

"When does what happen?" Owen asked, suddenly right behind them. "And why are we whispering?"

"Something's wrong with Jack," Ianto responded. "And maybe Rhys Williams."

Jack and Gwen went to have a pastry by the sofa. They were talking animatedly, both of them smiling and laughing, and every other sentence Gwen stole a look at Ianto, her grin growing even wider. He tried not to grimace and looked away; Jack had told her about their weekend. Their almost identical, romantic weekend.

Tosh was still typing at her computer, taking any readings of Jack that she could. "Ianto thinks Jack's possessed because he's acting romantic," she told Owen.

"With who?" Owen asked automatically. Ianto glared at him. "With you? Now that's not something I thought would ever happen—and we've seen some weird shit around here."

"Exactly!" Ianto agreed. "Not a romantic thing—thank you."

"I think it's sweet you don't think it's romantic," Tosh murmured. She was obviously holding back a smile.

"So the queen of denial here has you scanning him?" Owen asked her. He shook his head. "That's sad. You need some self-esteem, mate."

"He bought me a dozen red roses, Owen!"

"Just because someone buys you flowers doesn't mean they're an alien." Owen shrugged. "Maybe he actually likes you."

"Owen!" Tosh exclaimed.

"Or maybe he wants something," the doctor continued. "And with a man like Jack, who knows what that might be. Probably something depraved and immoral. Watch your arse, teaboy." The doctor laughed at his own joke.

"You're despicable," Tosh offered conversationally. "If you're going to take the piss, you may as well go back downstairs. Those of us who believe in romance will take care of it."

"Oh, I believe in romance," Owen said. "But you have to admit, it's kind of weird when it's the captain and the teaboy here. And what does Rhys Williams have to do with it?"

Ianto opened his mouth and then closed it, not sure how to explain. Tosh answered for him. "Gwen and Ianto had the same romantic weekend, right down to breakfast in bed this morning."

"So?" Owen replied. "Maybe Jack and Rhys planned something." They both turned and raised their eyebrows. "Yeah, yeah—never mind. Maybe it's a … hang on." He frowned, as if trying to remember something. "Did he make you coffee?

"Yes."

"With foam hearts in it?"

"Yes."

"Buy you flowers, cook you dinner, draw you a bath?"

"Yes, but I stopped him at the bath."

Owen glanced over at Gwen and Jack and leaned closer. "And this morning? Heart-shaped pancakes, American style?"

"Owen!" Ianto exclaimed. "What the hell is going on? How did you know that?"

Owen chewed on a pen and did not answer immediately. "Wait here, I read something in the paper that might help."

He went downstairs, dashing past Gwen and Jack as they walked over to Tosh's computer.

"What are you working on so hard, Tosh?" Jack asked, coming up behind Ianto. He laid his hands on Ianto's shoulders and began kneading out the knots. Rather than relax, Ianto shot Tosh a panicked look.

"Recalibrating the Hub intruder scanners for new parameters," she replied easily. Jack laughed, his breath ghosting across Ianto's ear.

"Sounds fun. Ianto, were you planning on making another round of coffee this morning?" His hands slid down to Ianto's waist and held tight.

"Should be done now," Ianto replied, stepping away. "I was just about to get some myself. I can—"

"No, I'll get it," Jack said. "Anyone else?"

Gwen nodded as Jack went to get them coffee, then turned toward Ianto with a gap-toothed grin. "I heard your weekend was almost as amazing as mine!"

Ianto groaned inside his head and tried not to roll his eyes. "I had a good weekend, yes. And apparently, you did as well?"

She linked her arm through his elbow; Ianto threw Tosh another panicked look but she turned around, holding back a laugh and leaving him on his own.

"It was brilliant. We are the two luckiest people," she said. "Flowers and dinner and foot-rubs—"

"Foot rubs?" Ianto asked in surprise. "I didn't get a foot rub." Not that he ever wanted Jack to rub his feet, but an offer might have been nice.

"But you got the heart-shaped pancakes, right?" she asked.

"They were American, but yes—"

"Of course he did," Jack said, coming up behind them and handing Gwen her coffee before offering Ianto his familiar black mug. He leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek, and Ianto immediately felt his face flame with embarrassment; kissing was simply not something they did in front of the team, ever. "And I can do a foot rub tonight."

"It's fine," Ianto muttered, stepping closer to Tosh, who glanced up at him with a frown.

"Ianto, I'm finding some issues after all," she said. "Er, could you help me…um…calibrate a few things from…downstairs, maybe? With Owen?"

She closed her screens and left without another word. Ianto stared after her before turning to Jack and Gwen. "Apparently, duty calls. Excuse me." Though his heart was pounding, he set down his mug and walked calmly toward the medical bay to find Owen. The doctor was coming up the stairs and Ianto jerked his head toward where Tosh was hurrying downstairs.

"I think Tosh found something," he murmured.

"Me too," the doctor replied.

Ianto glanced at him in surprise. "What? In the paper?"

Owen held up a rolled newspaper. "You didn't happen to see Jack reading a little red book, did you?"

Ianto thought back…yes, Jack had been reading a red book Sunday morning, when he'd drawn hearts in Ianto's coffee. Owen handed him the newspaper with an eye roll. "It's all right there, the latest book craze to sweep the city— _Real-Life Romance for The Reluctant Romantic_."

Ianto glanced down at the paper, at a picture of a man and a woman kissing in front of sunset on the beach, holding the red book between them. "So you're saying Jack got all this from a book?"

"And I'm betting Rhys Williams read it too. Mystery solved!"

Ianto scanned the article as he walked, but something still felt off about it. Jack didn't seem the type to read self-help books, or to follow anyone's advice but his own. Owen grabbed his elbow to keep him from walking into a corner and guided him into a secondary computer room tucked away downstairs. Tosh was already there, studying an image on one of the screens.

"We figured it out," Owen announced. "Jack actually read a book."

"He reads all the time, Owen," Ianto replied absently, staring at the computer screen. "Tosh, what's that? It doesn't look like a normal Hub scan."

"It's not," Tosh told him. She pulled up another image. "This is a normal scan of Jack. This is today's scan—totally different."

Owen leaned in closer. "What the hell? What's going on?" There was a clear difference, most notably in Jack's buttocks area, as well as his chest and head.

"I have no idea," Tosh said. "It appears to be a low-level energy field of some sort." She turned to Ianto. "You may be right about alien influence."

"I didn't want to be," Ianto murmured.

"You think this is why he's buying flowers and making pancakes?" Owen asked, waving toward the screen. "Because that doesn't make sense. This does." He took the newspaper and handed it to Tosh, pointing out the article. "He got it all from a book, end of story."

Ianto was trying to pull his thoughts together as he gazed at the screen. Tosh scanned the article, then met his eyes. "Ianto, do you think—"

"It's the book?" he finished. "He's probably got it in his back pocket."

"That's where it's strongest," she said.

"Which means…" Ianto trailed off, trying not to think of the implications of a book influencing Jack's thoughts, let alone anyone else who read it. "Tosh, can you do a quick search of social media, see what's popular right now?"

Sure enough, the book, the author, and the hashtags romance, candles, and American pancakes were popular. There were had hundreds of posts, with happy couples across the UK posting pictures of their blobby, misshapen breakfasts.

"Huh," said Owen. "I'll be damned. You might be onto something."

"But how could a book make thousands of people to do these things?" asked Tosh.

"If the book emits some sort of psychic field, it might," Ianto replied. "You buy it, you read it, it compels you to do what you read—it makes sense, in a Torchwood kind of way."

"Except for the part about it being a  _book_ ," Owen pointed out. "I could see some kind of tech doing this, but not thousands of reprinted copies distributed around the country."

"Good point," Ianto murmured. "But there's still a connection, I'm sure of it."

"Break the connection and see what happens," Owen suggested. "If Jack stops turning on the charm and goes back to being a prat, then we know the book had something to do with it."

"But how do we break the connection?" Tosh protested.

"Destroy the book," Ianto replied.

Owen snorted. "Never took you for book burning, Mr. Archive Everything."

"I hate the idea of it," Ianto replied. "But I also dislike the idea of a book compelling people to act a certain way. Sort of goes against that thing called free will."

"Maybe the author's in on it—gets a cut of every bouquet, every candle, every steak dinner." Owen shrugged when they looked skeptical. "Anyway, even if it does work, how do you propose we destroy  _all_ the books? Track down every person who bought one, break into their house, steal it, and start a bonfire on the beach?"

"He's right," Tosh said. "We can't destroy the ones already sold, only the ones we can pick up ourselves. Unless we find a way to stop the force field emanating from every book out there."

"We need to talk to Jack," Owen said. "Run this by him, maybe he knows something."

"Like what?" Ianto asked. "Besides how to make fluffy pancakes?"

"I don't know—maybe he's seen something like this before." Owen glanced back at Tosh's screen. "He's not going to like it, but do you really want him to keep it up, knowing he's following orders from a two-bit, self-help book?"

"Not when you put it like that," Ianto grumbled. He rubbed his eyes and nodded in agreement. "You're right. We should tell him. And Gwen, since Rhys has probably been affected as well." He turned and started back upstairs, but found his steps slowing. Tosh came up beside him and squeezed his arm.

"I'm sorry you were right about the alien influence," she said quietly. "We'll fix it, though."

"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything," Ianto mused. "I couldn't believe Jack would do all those things, and it turns out I was right."

"Ianto, I—" She shook her head. "I don't know what to say, other than I still think Jack has a romantic side. I mean, he bought the book, didn't he? And he read it—that says something."

"That he's too thick to come up with something romantic on his own?" Ianto suggested.

"Maybe he wasn't sure how to do romance with you and wanted a little guidance," she replied. "Be honest—would you know what to do, if you were trying to do something romantic for Jack?"

"No, because it's not like that—"

"But obviously Jack thinks so, or he wouldn't have got the book," she insisted. "He didn't buy it for one of us. He's dating  _you_ , Ianto. He bought it for  _you_. That means something."

"Maybe." Maybe a little, if he thought about it. Which he wasn't, because then he'd start wondering why Jack wanted to be romantic, when their relationship wasn't like that. And he was fine with that, he liked whatever it was that they had. For now. Could he want more one day? Could he do romance with another man, with Jack? Perhaps, but not then, and not under the influence of a sneaky book.

"Let's get Cardiff back on cockles and laverbread," Ianto told her. "Then…well, I don't know. Hopefully everything will go back to normal."

"Maybe it will go back to a new normal," she replied. He tried not to think about what that would be like. They needed to stop the book from spreading its forced ideas of romance first.


	3. Part Three

 III.

Owen suggested they all gather in the conference room, but Ianto decided he should talk to Jack first. He was worried that Jack might be embarrassed, or worse—angry. He could only reassure Jack that he had enjoyed their weekend, that it wasn't Jack's fault he'd been taken in by a strange psychic book, and that Tosh was already working on it. Ianto hoped for the best, but it was sure to be awkward between them.

Jack was back in his office, while Gwen was still sitting on the sofa, looking at something on her phone. When she saw Ianto, she held up a photograph and grinned. "You should have gone on the picnic yesterday when Jack asked!" she exclaimed, showing him a cloudy picture of the bay. "The beach was lovely."

So even the picnic on the beach had come from the book. Was it nothing but unoriginal clichés? If so, how many people were acting them out, hoping for romance?

"Was it crowded?" he asked. "More than usual?"

"Now that you mention it, yes—it was quite crowded! A good day for couples."

Which was definitely not him and Jack. "It was rather cloudy and cool, wasn't it?"

"It was romantic," she insisted. "So next time Jack asks, you should go!"

"Right," Ianto said. "I don't know if there will be a— never mind. I'm glad you enjoyed it. If you'll excuse me, I need to talk to Jack about something."

To his dismay, Jack was looking at the red book when Ianto went into his office. He leaned back and smiled, and Ianto felt his stomach tighten, that it was all a sham—the coffee, the flowers, the hearts.

"Ianto Jones! What can I do for you? Finished downstairs?"

"Not exactly," Ianto replied, clearing his throat. "I wanted to talk to you, but first…Tosh was wondering if she could look at your book? The red one?"

Jack glanced down and frowned, then shook his head and handed it to Ianto. "Of course. It's been good reading, but I can spare it for a few minutes."

"Right," Ianto murmured. He ran his hand over the cover, expecting to feel something, some silent voice in his mind willing him to make a sudden romantic gesture. He didn't notice anything; perhaps it took time to build its influence. Or maybe he needed to read the book for it to work on him. "Let me get this to her. Do you want some more coffee?"

Jack raised his mug. "Still good, thank you."

Ianto hurried out and gave the book to Tosh, who promised to run some quick tests on it to confirm her earlier findings. Returning to Jack's office, Ianto shut the door behind him and sat down, resisting the urge to fidget.

"What's up?" Jack asked, leaning forward with concern, apparently sensing Ianto's nerves.

"Do you remember what I said this morning about the flowers, the candles, the pancakes, not being like us?" Jack nodded, so Ianto swallowed and continued. "I made a joke about it being alien influence."

"Because you were so skeptical," Jack pointed out.

"Well, er…" Ianto steadied himself with a deep breath. "It turns out I might be right. You may be under some sort of influence, and given the nature of it, probably alien."

"What?" Jack asked, sitting up straighter and piercing Ianto with a look. "You think I'm under alien influence because I did something romantic?"

Ianto swore under his breath. "Well, no, it's not that...but you probably are. The red book, the one you've been reading, seems to be influencing your thoughts and actions."

Now he arms crossed defensively. "And how do you know I'm not acting on my own?"

"I don't know for sure, but Tosh picked up some kind of energy field around the book on the Hub scanners," Ianto said. He felt awful; Jack's reaction was worse that he'd anticipated. "She's running more tests right now."

"That's why you asked for the book." Ianto nodded. Jack was silent, practically staring him down. "Did you ask her to look into it?"

"I wanted to be sure you were yourself," Ianto admitted. It seemed utterly ridiculous now, that he'd scanned the man he was sleeping with because Jack had suddenly started acting romantic. And yet, they worked for Torchwood, and anything was possible; peace of mind was important in their line of work, not to mention their unconventional relationship.

"Because I got you flowers?" Jack's voice wavered between bitter and disappointed. "Cooked you dinner?"

"Don't forget the heart-shaped pancakes," Ianto added.

Jack narrowed his eyes but did not reply. He stared down at the table, his fingers clasped tightly in front of him. When he glanced up, he seemed more confused than anything. "I wanted to do something nice for you."

"I know," Ianto replied, feeling wretched. "And you did, all those things were—"

"Apparently fake," Jack finished for him. "Not my own idea."

Ianto remembered something Tosh had said earlier. "You bought the book, though. You must have picked it up for a reason."

Jack sighed and sat back, rubbing his face. "I saw the book when Gwen and I were chasing that Weevil on Saturday. I thought it might be good to look at. Apparently, I was wrong."

"What? Why were you wrong?"

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Because you didn't believe me. You asked Tosh for help because I did something romantic."

"And I was right, wasn't I?" Ianto replied. Jack's eyes widened slightly, but Ianto continued. "That's not the point, though. You have to admit, we haven't done many things like that. Any, really. It caught me by surprise. And it was so much, all at once…the flowers, candles, dinner. American pancakes."

Jack offered a crooked grin. "I suppose. I just wanted it to be special."

"I know," Ianto replied. "Thank you."

Jack sighed again. "Well, if there's something going on with this book, then I suppose we need to get to the bottom of it. Gwen bought one for Rhys, too."

"Which was another tip off that something was going on, since we practically had identical weekends," Ianto told him. "It's a national bestseller, and given how many romance hashtags are trending on social media, it's clearly having a big impact."

"Then we need to fix this fast, before Cardiff runs out of candles and flowers," Jack said, standing up and moving around the desk. "Let's see if Tosh—"

"Jack." Ianto pulled him to a stop. "I did enjoy the weekend."

Jack turned, his shoulders slumped. "I'm not sure if knowing it wasn't really me makes it better or worse." He shrugged. "I guess we'll see after we save the world." As he left the office, Ianto saw him stand straighter and pull on the mask of confident leader, not that of a confused man who had learned his romantic weekend was not of his own doing.

"Tosh, what've you got?" Jack asked, striding up to her station. Gwen and Owen were there; Owen raised an eyebrow in question, and Ianto shook his head. Gwen was frowning.

"Jack, you don't think there's something wrong with this book, do you?" she asked, holding up the small red book. "How could one book affect thousands of people across the country?"

"I don't know, that's why we have Tosh," Jack replied. "So talk to us, Tosh. Have you found anything?"

Tosh typed some more, then sat back. "Yes. There's definitely some kind of energy field coming from the book. It's very low and only extends out about one meter, but my guess is that it's strong enough to affect anyone within that range."

"Can you feel it?" Ianto asked. "I didn't feel anything when I brought the book out to you."

"I don't think it's something you'd notice," Tosh replied. "And I don't think we're all about to run out and buy a dozen red roses. You probably have to read the book, and it somehow compels you to do what you read."

"You're saying Rhys made me breakfast this morning because a bloody book told him to?" Gwen asked. "Tosh, that's ridiculous!"

"It's no more ridiculous than a lot of other things we've seen around here," Tosh replied. "I know it's hard to accept that he may not have done all those things on his own, but I think it's possible."

"Tosh," said Jack, chewing on his thumb as he studied the various images and readings on her computer. "You can see that the book is emitting this energy field, but how do you know it's having an effect?"

"I don't," she admitted. "It's only a theory, considering…well, given the odd coincidence of you and Rhys behaving exactly the same all weekend, along with half the rest of the country. The energy looks similar to certain kinds of brain waves. I don't know enough about neurobiology, but if it's having an effect, it might show up on a brain scan."

"Brilliant!" said Owen. "I've been waiting for this part. Let's go look inside your head, Harkness. See if there's anything rattling around in there besides empty innuendo."

Jack's face cracked for just a moment, then he grinned. Ianto knew it was a fake smile, that Jack hated the idea of a brain scan showing he wasn't in control of his thoughts. Who wouldn't?

"Always plenty of dirty jokes for you," he replied. "Let's do this. Tosh, keep looking at the book—"

"I need it first, I want to run scans with and without it," Owen interrupted. Jack rolled his eyes and continued.

"Gwen and Ianto, look into the author, the publisher, and all the news reports about this. You said it was national, I want to know who started it and how big this is. We need to stop it before it goes global. We'll meet in the conference room in an hour."

Ianto nodded and Jack left with Owen. Gwen looked thoughtful and pulled out her phone, glancing up at Tosh and Ianto. "I'm going to call Rhys, let him know what's going on," she said, then walked away for some privacy.

Ianto glanced at Tosh. "I'll look up the author, then," he said. Tosh reached out to him.

"Was Jack upset?" she asked quietly. "He seems somewhat off."

"He's not thrilled about being conned by a psychotic book," Ianto replied.

"It's not psychotic," she pointed out. "No one's turned up dead."

"Yeah, it still feels like Stephen King wrote a Mills and Boon novel, though," Ianto replied. "So excuse me while I track down the puppetmaster."

He went to his station and tried to concentrate, but it was hard. He should have gone on the picnic, should have taken that bath. He should have simply accepted the extra attention from a man whose attention span was notoriously short and enjoyed it. Instead, he'd questioned it and landed them all a new problem to solve.

And most likely ruined any second chance for romance with Jack.

* * *

"What've we got, people?" Jack asked an hour later as they sat in the conference room with another fresh round of coffee. Tosh stood and put some pictures on the screen.

"I've isolated the energy field from the book, its properties, and range." She went into tech mode, projecting several charts, graphs, and images on the screen and explaining them in ways most of them couldn't follow. "Basically, the field is similar to brain waves, particularly the ones related to hypnosis, theta waves. My guess is that's how it works, like hypnosis, but as far as I can tell, there's no tech involved. I can't figure out how it's doing it, only that it is. And that's Jack's book. I need to see another copy to say for sure if it's not an isolated case."

"I can get you Rhys's book," Gwen offered. Tosh nodded.

"That would be good, and maybe a few from the shops as well."

"Owen, is Tosh's field actually having a physiological effect?" Ianto asked.

Owen stood and put up Jack's test results. "There are some minute differences from Jack's last set of scans. I'm no expert on psychic phenomena, but given the readings from the book, Jack's test results, and the fact that Jack's not the only one making foam hearts in coffee cups, I'd say yes, the book is probably having some sort of mental effect. It does look like very light hypnosis on screen."

"It's quite popular on Twitter," said Gwen, "and there are online groups popping up everywhere for people to share their success stories, particularly engagement photos." Ianto shot Tosh a panicked look, while Jack looked down at the table. Gwen didn't even notice. "Owen saw it in the paper and it was on the news. The book is a widespread success, but that doesn't mean it's having some sort of psychic influence. Maybe people want some more romance in their lives!"

"Yeah, but not everyone wants heart-shaped pancakes in the morning," Owen pointed out. "Especially in Wales."

"I think a lot of people do," Gwen said in that tone of voice that radiated stubbornness. "It's romantic, just like all the other things in the book. If half the country read the latest best-selling cookbook and started making the same recipe, would we be investigating?"

"If it was haggis with neeps and tatties, we would," Ianto replied.

Gwen started to respond, but Jack held up a hand to stop any arguing. "I see your point, but this is different. It's too big to be a passing food craze, not when we're picking up energy readings from the book and possible side effects on a medical scan." He turned back to Ianto. "What did you find on the author and publisher?"

Ianto took the remote and brought up the author's biography. "The publisher is a small firm by the name of Turan Press, based here in Cardiff and specializing in self-help books and romance novels for the past twenty-five years. Author is Samuel Shepherd, forty years old. Relationship therapist with a successful and well-reviewed practice here in Cardiff for the last three years. I had a hard time finding any background information, however—his records are a mess, with vague details, missing information, and things that don't match or check out."

"Did you run him through the Torchwood database?" Jack asked, staring at the picture of the handsome, dark-haired man on screen. Ianto half wondered if Jack was interested or if the man looked familiar; he was wearing a suit and glasses, so it could have been either.

"Of course, no hits on the name," Ianto said, then pulled up a side-by-side slide with the author's picture and another, far less glamorous picture of a man with longer hair wearing a plaid jumper. "But I did get a hit on his photograph."

"He's Torchwood?" Gwen exclaimed.

"No, not a Torchwood agent," Ianto told them. "A Torchwood resettlement."

"Seriously?" asked Owen, staring at the picture. "How the hell did we miss this?"

"What's a resettlement?" asked Gwen. Apparently, there were still things she hadn't learned about Torchwood. Ianto wondered if Jack kept them from her on purpose, and why.

"He's a displaced alien resettled to live and pass as human," Ianto told her. "Ba'lisk T'lesk is from Kaliskor. He was found by Torchwood in July, 2000 wandering along the bay. He was given the name Shep Samuelson and settled in Radyr."

"Torchwood checks up on our resettlements at least once a year," Jack said, chewing his thumb as he gazed at the photograph. "We've got about two dozen we monitor. Last time I talked to Shep, he was still living in Radyr and working as a therapist in Morganston—but he was working with music, not relationships."

Ianto glanced down at the file in front of him. "Last check-in was October. You filled it out yourself, all clear." He slid it down to Jack, who nodded without looking at it.

"You were out," he said, obviously referring to Ianto's suspension. Ianto had met several resettled aliens, though not Shep. "And Shep was doing great—not to mention, he looked nothing like that glamour shot."

"Even aliens can put on a suit and cut their hair," Owen drawled. "One of our alien friends has written a book that's got the city making doe eyes at each other. Endgame?"

"He's an empath from the 26th century," Jack said, sitting back with a sigh. "It's the reason I let him go into music therapy, because once he accepted that there was no way he could go home, all he wanted to do was help people. I figured using sound and music was as harmless as it could get when it came to using his empathetic powers."

"Do you really think he used his magic powers to write a book that's making people act funny?" Owen asked. "Because that sounds insane, and I've been here a while."

"Torchwood One had an entire department devoted to psychic skills like empathy and telepathy," Ianto said quietly. "We all went through basic training."

"So you can read my mind?" Owen asked.

"I wouldn't want to even if I could," Ianto replied blandly.

"Look, we need to talk to Shep," Jack said. "He's a good guy who only wants to help people. Whatever he's done, he's not doing it to hurt anyone."

"That doesn't make it right," Owen said. "I don't want to pick up a magazine and suddenly find myself eating kimchi."

"No one's going to start making you eat pickled cabbage," Jack told him. "We'll talk to him and figure this out. Who's with me?"

Tosh, Gwen, and Owen all glanced at Ianto before lowering their gazes or looking away; no one spoke. Ianto certainly wasn't going to volunteer, knowing how uncomfortable the car ride alone would be. There was a beep from the computer behind Owen, startling them all; the doctor whirled around to check on it.

"Gwen, let's go meet Mr. Shepherd." Jack stood, but Gwen remained sitting.

"I'd like to check on Rhys," she said. "Make sure he's all right. And I need to get his copy of the book." Tosh nodded in agreement.

"I'd like to look at some more books, compare the readings. I'm hoping to come up with a way to disrupt or even shut down the energy field that doesn't involve destroying every copy. Some type of wide-spread pulse, perhaps."

"Fine," Jack said, frowning slightly and glancing toward the doctor. "Owen, with me, and we can pick up some kimchi on the way back. It's good."

"No can do," Owen said, spinning around in his chair. "Got some alerts from the hospital I need to check out."

"What's happened?" asked Gwen.

"The system picked up any cases with your romance keywords," Owen said. "Cardiff A&E has half a dozen cases involving flowers, candles, and hot coffee, including one shooting. Maybe this book is not meant for clumsy romantics, just reluctant ones."

Jack pursed his lips. "Fine, go talk to them. I guess we drew the awkward card, then," he said, turning toward Ianto with a forced grin. "Let's go see why Shep is mucking about in other people's love lives." He turned and left without a word. The others looked at Ianto with various looks of pity and understanding.

"Sorry, mate," Owen said. Ianto shook his head as he stood.

"It's fine," he said. "It should be me. I got us—all of us—into this, after all."

"I hope it's not too, er…" Tosh wasn't sure how to finish the sentence, and looked to Owen for help.

"Embarrassing and uncomfortable," the doctor replied. "That's what you get for dating the boss, I suppose."

"Thanks, Owen," Ianto muttered. As he left the conference room, he saw Gwen give Owen a light slap on the arm. But in a way, Owen was right. If Ianto wasn't dating Jack, it would simply be another case for Torchwood, not an uneasy situation for them all. It wasn't the first time their personal and professional lives had clashed, and it probably wouldn't be the last, but Ianto wasn't sure what to do about it, other than get in the car with Jack and meet the displaced alien therapist who'd made things worse between them instead of better.


	4. Chapter 4

IV.

After five minutes of silence, Ianto couldn't take any more, and opened with an apology. "I'm sorry you're stuck with me."

Jack glanced at him in surprise. "I'm not stuck with you, and I wouldn't be sorry if I was."

"It's my fault we're doing this," Ianto said, leaning his head back against the seat and gazing out the window. "Because I couldn't leave well enough alone."

Jack took a moment to answer. "I can understand why you were skeptical. Like you pointed out, it was a lot all at once, not our usual."

"It was still nice," Ianto said. "The movie, a home-cooked dinner."

"It wasn't me, though," Jack pointed out. "It was some alien book telling me to cook dinner for you—to buy flowers, to light candles."

Ianto could hear the frustration in Jack's voice and understood. He'd been manipulated himself in the past, and feeling like he'd not had complete control over his thoughts had been confusing, leaving him uncertain and ashamed after. Their relationship was already unconventional; neither one of them talked about it much, and it bothered Ianto to think that a little red book might have ruined whatever they had going.

"You still bought the book," Ianto reminded him. "Because you wanted to do something, even if the book gave you the ideas and compelled you to act on them."

"I bought the book because Gwen was giving me such a hard time," Jack grumbled, turning onto Cardiff Road as they headed north. He seemed to realize what he'd said and glanced over at Ianto, already shaking his head. "I mean, I wanted to—"

"—do something nice?" Ianto finished dryly. "That's what you said earlier."

"And I did!" Jack insisted. "I wanted to do something nice—something romantic."

"Because Gwen told you to?" Ianto asked. "Instead of a book, it's Gwen mucking things up?"

"She didn't tell me to buy the book."

"What was she bothering you about then?" Ianto asked. He heard the hint of annoyance in his voice and knew he needed to take a step back, but it seemed Jack wasn't as innocent as he could be.

"She thought I was—" Jack cut himself off. "She suggested we do something romantic, and I agreed."

Ianto knew there was more to it, but he also knew if he pushed that it would likely backfire, leaving things more uncomfortable between them. At this point, it was a draw: Jack had done something romantic because Gwen had pushed him to, and Ianto had doubted him because it had been so uncharacteristic.

"It's fine," Ianto said, turning back to the window. "Let's talk to Shep and figure out how to stop this book from making things even worse out there."

Jack did not respond right away. "Do you think it's making things worse?" he asked. "Maybe Gwen's right, maybe a little romance is good for people."

"When it's open and honest," Ianto replied. "Not when it's forced and unwilling."

"The book didn't force me to do any of that stuff," Jack protested. "I wasn't unwilling."

"No, but it compelled you to do it," Ianto said. "And it's someone else's idea of what romance looks like. Do we really want to live in a world where the only way to express feelings is to buy flowers and cook breakfast foods that aren't even native to our cuisine?"

"I think there are probably a lot of other ways to do that," Jack admitted. "But sometimes people don't know what to do. A book like this could be a starting point."

Ianto gave him a skeptical look. "You sound like Gwen now, you know. You're the last person I'd see believing in mind control."

"I don't believe mind control," Jack argued. "But maybe the book is a gentle push in the right direction when people want to do something nice for someone."

It occurred to Ianto why Jack might be arguing for the book. "You've known Shep Samuelson for several years," he said. "Do you know him well?"

"You mean intimately?" Jack asked dryly. Ianto inclined his head; it wasn't a stretch to imagine that Jack had former lovers stretched out across the years and miles, particularly interesting alien lovers. "No, I did not. He needed help, and I helped him."

"So you didn't flirt with him?" Ianto asked. Jack grinned at him, a welcome relief even with the subject at hand.

"Of course I did, but with no other intent than to help him resettle. It was clear he wasn't interested, even once he accepted his new life here. And to be honest, neither was I. Back then, I was Torchwood Three. I was the only thing keeping it from being swallowed by London, and I could barely keep my head above water most days."

Ianto thought about Jack at that point in his life, alone after losing his team, desperately fighting to run Torchwood on his own, his way. "He helped you, didn't he?" Jack glanced at him in surprise. "That's why you have such faith in him, in his empathetic powers. Because you helped him, but he helped you."

Jack shrugged, but Ianto could see he was right, and that both Shep's friendship and Ianto's insight meant something to Jack. "He did, yes. He didn't do much more than listen, but there's something about talking to an empath…" He trailed off, lost in memories. "Anyway, we met fairly often—I even tried to recruit him for Torchwood, but he said it wasn't the right place for someone who felt the things he felt. He only wanted to use his gift to help people. Even after everything that had happened to him, stranded on a world light-years away from his own planet with no hope of ever going home, he wanted to help."

"And that became music therapy?" Ianto prodded him. He always enjoyed Jack's stories, particularly the ones that did not involve copious amounts of sex or violence.

"He started working with animals at first and earned quite the reputation as a cat whisperer. But after a few years, he wanted to move on, do more—work with people, not pets. He went to school for music therapy. I honestly had no idea he was moonlighting as a relationship therapist on the side," Jack added.

Ianto turned back to the window and thought about the situation, trying to put the pieces together as they passed the primary school. "Do you think that's why he wrote the book, to help other people with their relationships?"

"I think it's very likely," Jack replied. "But the question is—did he mean for it to affect people the way it does, or was that an accident?"

"How could it be an accident?" Ianto asked. "He had to have planned it."

"But there's no tech involved, as far as Tosh can find."

"Undetectable technology?" Ianto suggested. Jack shook his head.

"Not if it was published here in Cardiff." Jack pulled up in front of a small, unassuming semi-attached house on a quiet street. "We can check them out later if we need to, but my guess is that Shep has more to do with this than the publisher, however unknowingly."

Ianto glanced at the house. "It's Monday morning, shouldn't he be at work? Wherever that might be now."

"I called his mobile and asked him to meet us here for an impromptu check-in." Jack stepped out of the car and Ianto followed him to the pavement. "He sounded nervous." Jack started toward the door, but Ianto caught his elbow.

"Jack, if he's an empath who has the ability to write a book that influences people, what's to stop him from doing that to us? Influence us, manipulate us?"

Jack pursed his lips and frowned. "Nothing, but I don't know if he can really do that. And I want to believe that he wouldn't." He turned and walked up to the door, knocking before Ianto could protest any more.

The man—or alien, Ianto reminded himself—who opened the door looked less like his author picture and more like the Torchwood file. Shep Samuelson was slightly shorter than them and looked to be in his mid-forties. He was dressed in khakis and a button-down shirt, glasses tucked into a pocket, and the first thing Ianto noticed was that Shep definitely appeared nervous.

"Jack!" he exclaimed, shaking hands a little too vigorously as he invited them in. "I haven't heard from you for almost a year, how are you?"

"I was out of town for a while," Jack said, his smile warm though still guarded. "But I'm settling back in. This is Ianto Jones, Torchwood's general assistant."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Jones," Shep replied, shaking Ianto's hand. Shep's hand was exceptionally cool, and the home was warmer than usual. Ianto assumed it was owing to his alien biology, another reminder that Shep Samuelson wasn't human.

"What I can do for you?" Shep asked. "Sorry—would you like some tea?"

"No thanks," said Jack. "Hopefully this won't take long. I think you know why we're here, Shep."

"It's almost time for my annual check-in," the man replied, going for a casual shrug and failing when he clasped his hands behind his back and bounced on his toes. "Not much has changed, though."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "You sure about that?"

Shep nodded. "I'm thinking about moving, but I'll be sure to give you notice."

"Let me guess," said Jack, crossing his arms over his chest. "You want something bigger, something nicer. Maybe down by the water, one of those posh penthouses overlooking the bay with a rooftop balcony?"

"Sounds great," Shep said, once again sounding unsure.

"Sounds expensive," Ianto offered, seeing where Jack was going. "Work must be going well." He cocked his head. "Music therapy, right?"

Shep gave him a weak smile. "A lot of people looking for help these days," he said. Jack shook his head and sighed.

"Romantic help, perhaps?" he asked. "We know about the book, Shep."

"What book?" If he was trying to deny it, Shep failed completely, his voice cracking, his eyes darting away.

" _Real-Life Romance for the Reluctant Romantic_ ," Jack said. "Ring any bells? It's a national bestseller. Everyone's reading it and buying flowers, cooking dinner, making funny pancakes."

"Really?" Shep asked. "I love pancakes."

"American pancakes?" Ianto asked dryly.

Shep nodded enthusiastically. "They have them at one of those American style dinners on the bay, they're wonderful. So much better than beans on toast, or those nasty bacon butties."

"You're in Wales," Ianto pointed out. "That's what we eat. You should try cockles and laverbread."

Jack was hiding a smile. "And more importantly, you just confirmed you wrote the book. Talk to me, Shep. What's going on? And why didn't you tell us?"

Shep seemed to fold in on himself and nodded. "Fine. But can we sit down with tea, like civilized folks? Or coffee?"

"That depends," said Jack, winking at Ianto. "Are you going to draw me foam hearts?"

"Then you read it?" Shep asked, sitting down and apparently forgetting about the coffee. "What did you think?"

"Shep…" Jack sat down and glanced around. He seemed unsure of what to say, how to explain the effect the book was having. "Your book is having quite an impact, you know."

He nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, I've done several interviews about how fast it's caught on. Did you see the article in the paper this morning?"

"It's one of the things that clued us in," Jack admitted. "There's more going on with this book, Shep. It's not only giving people ideas, it's compelling them to act on them."

"What do you mean?" Shep was genuinely confused, glancing back and forth between Jack and Ianto on the sofa across from him. "I wrote the book to help people. I'm not forcing them to do anything, I'm trying to encourage them with ideas."

"Cardiff may sell out of roses and candles by week's end," Ianto said.

"People want more romance in their lives, what's wrong with that?" Shep shook his head. "My book is merely a guide, nothing more."

"It's a bit cliché," Jack pointed out. "Romance is more than hearts and flowers, Shep. A lot more."

"Yes, but I'm not from around here," Shep pointed out. He was starting to sound defensive. "I wrote what I see and hear around me—in books, on television, at restaurants, from friends. That's what romance looks like on your planet, at least on the surface. My book isn't compelling people to do those things, it's practically written into your DNA! What makes you think it is?"

Jack didn't answer, and glanced at Ianto, clearly uncomfortable about sharing his own experience with the book. Ianto leaned forward. "Two of my coworkers experienced it this weekend. They came to work and had done all the same things, right down to those pancakes. We had our tech look at the book. It's giving off some sort of energy field."

The other man's mouth fell open. "You…you can't be serious. It was an initial print run of a few thousand copies! The publisher wants to do a second printing, they're even talking to me about a sequel."

Jack took over. "We're serious. It's all over the internet, and it's more than people reading a book. They're all making the same romantic gestures, chapter by chapter. Our tech is looking at other copies, but we're pretty sure she's going to find the same thing. She said it's similar to theta waves, from the brain. Almost like hypnosis."

Shep jumped up. "Hypnosis?" he exclaimed. "But that's not possible! My powers aren't that strong…" He started pacing, clearly agitated.

"You mean, your empath powers?" Shep nodded and continued, muttering to himself. "Is it possible they somehow affected the book?" Jack asked.

"It's possible, yes," Shep admitted readily. "Even probable, if what you're describing is true. But I had no idea, I swear. I never thought my powers would grow to that level. I was content. I like what I do, I like helping people." He collapsed back into his chair. "Jack, you have to believe me. I didn't mean for this to happen!"

Jack leaned forward and touched the man's knee. "I believe you, Shep. I've known you for eight years, you wouldn't hurt a soul. You're the most human alien I've ever met, and that's a compliment. " Shep smiled weakly, and Jack continued. "Tell us what you think happened with your powers. I thought your empathetic powers were limited to sensing moods and feelings."

"They are—or they were." He glanced at Ianto. "You're confused, I can sense that. And because I can feel that, and can even sense where it's coming from—which is quite complicated, I must say—I can help people. I talk to them about their negative moods, explore the reasons for them, encourage the good. "

"Are you still doing music therapy?" Jack asked.

"Yes," Shep told him, "but only part-time. I established my own private practice about a year ago, focused on relationship counseling. Right after our last check-in, come to think of it." It had been a busy time for Torchwood, between Ianto's suspension, Suzie's resurrection, and Jack's disappearance. It was disappointing they'd missed it, however.

"Your biography says you've been in Cardiff for three years," Ianto said.

"I lied," Shep shrugged. "I needed a more credible background in order to sell the book."

Jack hung his head. "Shep, you should have said something," he told the other man. "You know why we put that restriction in place, but I would have listened, worked something out if you had come to me."

"I'm sorry," Shep said. "I didn't plan for it to happen. I offered to see a music client with her husband, and she referred a friend, who referred a friend, and now I have a three-month waiting list!"

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "How did you find time to write a book?"

Shep's face lit up. "It came to me almost overnight, about six months after I started seeing so many couples struggling with the same thing: romance. It was easy to write, because they all wanted the same things, usually for the same reasons. I had no idea it would be such a bestseller."

"Might have something to do with that energy field we picked up," Ianto offered dryly.

"Tell us about it," said Jack, leaning back. "You said it was related to your powers, but you didn't know about it?"

"You know my people are natural empaths," Shep started, choosing his words carefully. "Some go on to develop stronger abilities, like the ability to siphon off negative emotions, or project positive ones. Some of us can influence thoughts and actions, through direct contact, and some can influence others through indirect contact."

"Like writing?" Ianto asked. It sounded ridiculous, and terrifying as well. He tried to imagine humans with the ability to psychically influence those around them, and found the thought troubling. The idea of someone being able to control others from a distance was positively chilling.

Shep nodded. "The written word, and even recordings. I can't explain it, as it's quite rare and I didn't learn much about it before I was lost. We're a people with a strong code of ethics. Those of us who can do such things use them only for good, but it's still highly supervised on my planet when someone presents with that particular gift. I had no idea my powers had evolved to that point. I've had no guidance." He smiled sadly. "My parents would be shocked. They thought I'd never amount to anything."

Ianto glanced at Jack, who appeared sad for Shep. Ianto felt the same, and he'd just met the man. Shep was lost, out of his time and exiled from his people and planet, and he'd discovered he had an amazing gift—one that he wouldn't be able to share. How could they monitor him, make sure he didn't use it for personal gain, or worse? He could take over the world with the ability to write a book that literally made people think and do what he wanted. Jack knew it, and so did Shep.

"It sounds like an amazing gift," Jack said quietly. "But you know that here on Earth, things don't work like that. We don't have your kind of abilities, and if we did…well, I don't think we'd be nearly as benevolent in using them for the greater good."

"That is all my people would use it for," Shep told them sadly. "I wish I could convince you."

"I believe you," Jack said, once more touching Shep's knee in sympathy. "But it's different here. We…I…can't allow someone with these kinds of powers to wander the streets, totally unchecked. Anything could happen."

"You think I'd use it to what?" Shep asked, bitterness creeping into his tone. "Take over the world, like some ridiculous movie villain? I'm not like that."

"Someone else could use you," Ianto said. "Against your will. We have to think of the entire planet."

"I'm not a danger," Shep insisted. "My people are pacifists. We have no desire to use our gifts for those kinds of things. We wish only to live peacefully and help others."

Ianto looked helplessly at Jack, who appeared equally unsure what to do. It was hard, trying to weigh Shep's life against that of millions of others. That he had not realized the impact of his book, Ianto believed; and he also believed that Shep would not use his newly discovered ability for any other reasons. But the fact remained that if someone found out and compromised Shep Samuelson, they could do serious damage to the world order.

Ianto imagined Shep was probably feeling all of their confusion, sympathy, and guilt. But then Jack sat up, and even Ianto could sense his determination to find a solution.

"We're going to figure this out," he said. "First, we need to break the influence of the book. Are you aware of any way to reverse the effect?"

Shep frowned and shook his head. "As I said, I've had no guidance since I came here. On my planet, this would not have happened so unexpectedly. It would be used only with intent. I imagine there are ways to reverse it, but I'm simply not trained in them. I'm sorry."

"That's okay," Jack soothed him. "We'll figure it out, we've got some leads already. I still want you to come to Torchwood and talk with my tech and my doctor. We're going to find a way to let you live your life, on your word of trust, but with a safeguard in place in case you're ever compromised."

Ianto nodded thoughtfully. "Tosh could come up with something, I'm sure."

"Me too," said Jack, smiling at Ianto's support. He stood, nodding as if to convinced himself. "I'm trusting you until then, Shep. Be smart, and be careful. I'll be in touch in a day or two so you can come by the Hub and talk to Tosh and Owen."

They stood with him, and Shep took Jack's outstretched hand before pulling him in for an embrace. "Thank you, Jack. I can't tell you how much it means to me, to sense your trust and determination."

"Don't let me regret it," Jack said, but the stern warning was lost in a warm smile.

"Thank you, Mr. Jones." Shep took his hand, then cocked his head thoughtfully. "And I'm sorry if the book made things uncomfortable between the two of you. But I assure you, Jack's intentions were indeed his own and all quite honest."

"Hey now," Jack said, stepping in to interrupt with a light tone. "None of that. We're not here to be analyzed, we came to talk about your book. No more best-selling advice, got it?"

"Got it," Shep murmured, but he was still eyeing them curiously. "I don't think you need it anyway. It's all there already, everything you both want and need. You only need to let it out. Don't be afraid."

Ianto coughed and Jack rolled his eyes with a nervous laugh, and they left with a promise to be in touch soon. He tried not to think about what Shep had said—what was there? What did they need, or want? What did they need to let out? It was eerie, knowing someone could read his thoughts and feelings. He wasn't sure he liked it, when half the time he wasn't even sure what he was feeling himself. Or what he was truly so scared of.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A rare OC (for me) makes an appearance! I'm no neurologist, psychiatrist, or engineer, so pardon my dubious science when it comes to brain waves, hypnosis, empathy, and strange alien books. Hope you are still enjoying it. Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

V.

After five minutes of silence, Jack apparently couldn't take any more and started talking.

"He's a good man," he said. "He means well. I've never known him to say a bad word, yet alone try to take over the world. I believe him, that he didn't mean for this to happen, and I trust him not to—"

"I know," Ianto told him, slightly amused at Jack's defensive rambling. "I believe him too, and I trust your judgement of him. I'm sure Tosh will be able to come up with something to help him."

"Some sort of failsafe," Jack agreed. "So that if he's ever compromised, we don't have to worry about him being used in any way."

"Because there are far worse things than spreading dodgy pop culture romance across the world," Ianto offered. "Chaos and anarchy, for one. Very bad."

Jack gave him a sideways grin. "That's why we do what we do," he said. After a moment of thoughtful silence, he continued. "So do you think it was all dodgy pop culture romance?"

"What, the book?" Ianto asked, surprised at the turn of the conversation. "Shep so much as admitted it, didn't he? He said he wrote what he saw around him—books, television, and the like. He said it was practically written into our DNA."

"I don't think so," Jack said, shaking his head.

"You told him it was cliché," Ianto reminded him.

"And most of it is," Jack agreed.

"Then you don't think humans are hard-wired for romance?" Ianto asked dryly. No wonder Jack had picked up a book to help with the issue; so much for Tosh insisting Jack had a romantic side.

"Oh, no, I absolutely believe we're romantic creatures at heart," Jack replied. "But I don't think we're hard-wired for nothing more than Shep's book. Humans are far more than a collection of clichés, but that's what we see the most, so that's what we do—the flowers, the candles, all of that."

"It's what we're told to do by industrial corporations out to make a profit," Ianto pointed out. "By the people who sell the flowers and candles—even perfume and sexy under garments."

"Sexy under garments? I think that was the next chapter!" Jack winked. Ianto graced him with an eye roll. "Seriously, though—you're probably right. Romance has been high-jacked by the corporate industry, producing all those books and movies Shep thinks are examples of romance. But there's much more to it."

Ianto glanced sideways at Jack, wondering where the conversation was going and if he dared asked the question he was thinking. He went for it. "If you recognize all those things in the book as a collection of clichés, why did you do so many of them?"

Jack took a moment to answer. "Well, according to Tosh, it's because the book compelled me to. Shep said his people can develop the ability to influence others, even through writing, and while we may be centuries away from understanding how that's even possible, that doesn't mean it didn't happen—to me and hundreds of others. I bought you flowers because I wanted to buy you flowers."

"Because the book was compelling you to buy flowers," Ianto pointed out. "There's a difference—you wanted to buy them because the book made you want to buy them."

"Exactly," Jack agreed. "It didn't occur to me that any of it might have been suspect because the book was telling me it was all perfect. It's very strange, looking back and recognizing it. I didn't think of how you might react to any of it, if you'd even like any of it, only that I wanted to do it because I wanted to do something romantic."

"They weren't bad ideas, but not particularly original."

"They were Shep's ideas of what romance is like," Jack said. "Which could have been a starting point, but the book compelled me to use them rather than think for myself. If I had come up with my own ideas, I would have done things differently. A lot differently."

"What, no foam hearts and flowers?" Ianto asked. "Or heart-shaped pancakes?" Jack grinned somewhat sheepishly.

"Actually, knowing how much you like coffee, I think the foam heart was a nice touch. But since you don't have a vase and prefer beans and toast, I'd probably do something else besides flowers and pancakes."

"Such as?" Ianto asked curiously. He wasn't curious what Jack would offer as a romantic gesture as much as he was curious how Jack would dodge the question.

"I'm not sure," Jack replied. "I'd have to think about it."

"Or buy a book," Ianto offered. He was unable to resist the slight dig, and Jack gave him a playful glare.

"Self-help books are not usually my thing," said Jack. "Otherwise I'd have an entire library of them by now."

"Then why did you buy it, if it's not your thing?" Ianto asked the question he'd wanted to ask since Jack had slipped up about buying the book. He hoped he didn't regret it. "What was Gwen bothering you about that you bought a book about romance to prove her wrong?"

They stopped at a red light, but Jack didn't answer right away. Ianto almost told him it was fine, he didn't need to know because he understood, which he didn't, but then Jack answered him.

"She said…well, she didn't think I was serious. About us. She said it was obviously just a bit of fun on the side."

Ianto was definitely not going to ask the follow-up to that statement. Instead, he tried not to think about Jack's answer. "Well, I could understand why she would think that. We do keep things professional at work."

"We do," said Jack, once again surprising Ianto with a candid response. "And that's what I told her—after telling her it was none of her business, of course—but she said that said if it were serious, we'd show it. And that they would all see it, even at work."

"Gwen tends to see only what she wants to see," Ianto said without thinking. He knew it sounded petty and jealous, but he also knew it was true. He and Tosh had talked about it several times. Ianto wondered why Gwen was even asking about him and Jack. Her own interest had always been clear, but she was engaged now. Was she genuinely concerned for them, or simply jealous that Jack was sleeping with Ianto?

"Also true, though I didn't point that out. I told her we preferred our privacy. She said I should do something romantic, to show you it was more than some office affair. So I wanted to do something romantic. The book was there and I bought it to prove that I was serious."

"Oh."  _That I was serious_.  _More than some office affair._ Gwen had told Jack that if he and Ianto were serious, they should be more romantic. And Jack had decided to get a book on romance, which meant…"You think this is serious?"

Jack did not answer right away, driving silently past Llandaff Fields back toward the Hub. "More serious than the first time around," he finally answered, avoiding Ianto's eyes. "But maybe I was wrong."

"Why?"

Jack raised an eyebrow. "You literally thought I was under some sort of alien influence because I did something different. Something nice."

"Well, you were," Ianto pointed out yet again.

"So no points for even trying?" Jack asked, but the teasing felt slightly forced. Ianto had doubted Jack; it didn't matter that he'd been right about alien influence. Jack had wanted to prove to Gwen that he could be romantic, because she'd questioned his intentions. In truth, Jack had wanted to show that he was serious about their relationship, and Ianto had thrown that gesture to the wind.

"I'm sorry," he said, suddenly feeling terrible. "You may have been influenced by that book to cook and buy flowers and draw a bath, but I didn't even stop to think why you were doing it. I didn't believe it was real. I'm sorry I doubted you."

To his continued surprise, Jack reached over for his hand and squeezed. "To be fair, I don't have a particularly good record or reputation."

"Your reputation is rubbish," Ianto agreed with a smile that Jack matched. "But your record seems to be changing."

"I can do better," Jack said. "I happen to like romance."

"Really?" Ianto asked. "Like what?"

"I think it's in the little things, to be honest," Jack replied. "I like grand gestures as much as the next guy, but I like the little things better. Quiet moments, spontaneous moments."

"Sounds like you've given it some thought," Ianto offered. These were the stories he enjoyed hearing, things that revealed Jack's past, his thoughts and beliefs. He was such a complex and unique man that there was always something new, something unexpected to learn and experience with him. It was one reason why Ianto—

Tried not to think about it.

Jack was actually sharing more, and Ianto tried to focus. "I'm well aware of what people think of me," he was saying. "Shallow, flirtatious, promiscuous— but there's always more on the inside than what a person presents on the outside. It's a carefully crafted image." He glanced at Ianto. "Take you—you're far more than a well-cut suit and pithy comeback."

"I try my best," Ianto replied. Jack laughed.

"I've done my fair share of romancing," Jack continued. "Enough to understand what people appreciate most—something that shows you know them, that you want to be with them. That you care. A thoughtful surprise here and there. Some extra help after a long day. My wife used to like it when—"

"You were married?" Ianto couldn't help but interrupt. It made sense, that for as long as he had been around, Jack might have once settled down at some point, but as Jack had pointed out himself, that was generally not the image he projected. Ianto tried to imagine Jack married; to his surprise, it made him smile, to think Jack had once been so in love, so happy, that he had committed to such a major life change.

"Don't be jealous, it was decades ago," Jack said. "Almost a century, now. Her name was Catherine, and she loved the little things, things I never knew would touch her until they did—bringing her a cup of tea in the afternoon prepared exactly as she liked it, taking a walk along the river early in the morning before work, behaving in front of her parents." He grinned at Ianto. "And she would surprise me with little things, things I never thought I'd like, but were wonderful, romantic gifts coming from her." He shrugged. "Every person, every relationship is different. I can see that now, that Shep's book was nothing more than generic stereotypes that don't work for everyone. Honestly, I'm sort of embarrassed that I got sucked into it."

"Don't be," Ianto told him. "It was all good, only—"

"Too much," Jack finished. Ianto nodded. "And impersonal. I'll do better next time."

"There's no need to prove anything," Ianto said. "Like I said this morning, I don't need those kinds of things."

"But they're nice sometimes," Jack said, smiling as he drove. "Admit it, a little bit of romance can be nice."

Ianto didn't admit it right away, prompting Jack to glance over at him. "Don't tell me you never did anything romantic for Lisa, or that she never did something for you."

"Oh, we tried it all—flowers and chocolate—"

"Damn, I forgot chocolate!"

"No, you had cake, that was even better." They laughed and Ianto continued. It was surprisingly comfortable to talk about Lisa with Jack.

"Dinner and concerts—I thought the symphony would be perfect, but it was so boring! We went to a club afterward, drank ourselves silly, and laughed about it until three in the morning!" He smiled at the memory. "But you're right, it was always the little things that went over best. Things only she loved, things she knew only I would appreciate."

"Like what?" Jack asked, parroting Ianto's words from earlier.

"She always loved it when I picked up her favorite dessert for a night in. Things like that." He sighed, thinking of his last night with her. "But it was different with her, we were…well, it was different." He would have married her someday. With Jack, he knew there was no such future.

"Because she was a woman and I'm not?" Jack asked curiously. Ianto shrugged.

"Not really, though I've not done those kinds of things with a bloke before," he admitted. "You know that. You got me flowers and I didn't even have a vase for them!"

"But next time we want to have a sexy bubble bath, we're all prepared," Jack said and wiggled his eyebrows. Ianto rolled his eyes again.

"I don't how romantic that'll be, though," he said. "Doesn't that fall under the cliché category?"

"Maybe. Did you ever do it for Lisa?"

"Yes," he said. "Because I knew she liked it after a long day at work. Do you like bubble baths after a long night of chasing Weevils?"

"Do you?" Jack countered.

Ianto half snorted. "This is getting us nowhere."

"I'll ask it differently—did you like taking a bubble bath with Lisa?"

"Yes."

"And would you like taking a bubble bath with me?"

Ianto felt like he needed to tread carefully. He didn't want to offend Jack and ruin the chance to try something new, even if it did seem strange and ridiculous for them. "I don't know," he said honestly. "I don't know if we'd even fit in a bathtub together!"

Jack nodded. "It would definitely need to be a big tub. So maybe we try it and see. It doesn't have to be romantic, but maybe we'd enjoy it as a way to relax and be together."

"Like Torchwood ever lets us relax," Ianto murmured, but he was smiling. Mostly because he was trying to imagine the two of them fitting in a bathtub, let alone covered in bubbles and blissfully relaxing together.

"We relaxed this weekend," Jack said. "And I enjoyed it, even if I wasn't myself."

"I did too, as I've said several times." He took a deep breath. "Maybe we can do it again sometime."

Jack's grin could have lit up the Hub. "I'd like to try it on my own terms," he said. "Come up with my own plan this time."

"I might have some ideas of my own," Ianto said, already trying to think of something that was uniquely Jack, something only he would appreciate and enjoy as a romantic gesture. "And they don't involve American food in any way."

Jack laughed and shook his head. "I still don't see what you have against pancakes."

"I like my breakfast as Welsh as possible," Ianto replied dryly.

"Shep likes those American diners, maybe we should try one."

"I'll consider it once we figure out how to stop his book from forcing those pancakes on the population. And how we can protect him."

He said this last as they were pulling into the Hub. Jack nodded in agreement. "It's a date, then. And I wouldn't be surprised if Tosh had something for us already."

She did, and it turned out she had something for them as well.

  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of those chapters where I want to write a long author's note, then sit back and nervously bite my nails. But I won't. I'll just point out that there's no canon for Jack's wife as far as I know so I made it up. And that there will be one more chapter, and possibly an epilogue. Thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

VI.

They had just finished telling Gwen and Owen about their visit with Shep Samuelson when Tosh came dashing into the conference room, apologizing for being late. "What did I miss?"

"Lunch and psychic aliens," Owen said around a mouthful of pizza.

"We made sure Owen left some," Gwen told her. "But feel free to throw it at him."

"It's fine," Tosh said. "Thank you. The good news is, I think I've figured out what to do. The bad news is, I still need to run some more tests to be sure."

"You're up next then, Tosh," Jack said, leaning back in his chair and taking another bite of pizza. "What's the plan?"

"I've come up with a finely tuned electromagnetic pulse that will disrupt the energy field from the book—shut it down completely." She pulled up a series of diagrams and detailed the device she had modified from the archives to deliver the pulse. Given the unique signature of the energy emanating from Shep's very words, she had created a pulse that would only affect the book and no other electronic devices. "I'll run some more tests this afternoon, but I'm pretty sure it will work on a widespread basis without disrupting anything else but the book." Jack nodded, clearly impressed.

"Well done. As long as people can keep using their mobiles, we shouldn't get any angry calls. How do we deliver this pulse?"

A map of the United Kingdom appeared, superimposed with overlapping circles covering all of Scotland, England, and Wales. "Unfortunately, I can't make the range large enough to deactivate the entire country. The center of each circle represents the points where it needs to be activated in order to cover all of Great Britain."

"Which means someone needs to drive to each of those points and set it off," Jack concluded.

"Like I said, I'll work on it more this afternoon, see if I can increase the range. It worked on your book and on Rhys's book here in the Hub. I put the books from the shop upstairs in the tourist office, and it worked on them as well—the energy field is completely deactivated. I want to set off a wider pulse and get another copy from the Hayes to make sure it works over longer distances. Then we simply take the device to the first set of coordinates, set it off, and drive to the next location."

"That's a lot of driving," said Gwen. "How did you come up with each location?" Ianto couldn't help but exchange a smirk with Owen. It was obviously a maths problem, calculating the range of each pulse and then making sure all of the UK was covered. While Tosh explained it, Ianto glanced at Jack, who was gazing thoughtfully at the screen, rubbing his chin.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly. Jack shook his head.

"Nothing," he said. "I'm trying to think of how we can adapt this for Shep." He sat up straighter. "Good work, Tosh. Keep on it so we can get started as soon as possible. Owen, what's going on at the hospital?"

"An outbreak of stupidity," Owen replied. "People burning themselves on hot coffee for their loved ones, one bloke who almost lost a finger trying to filet a fish for his boyfriend, and several people deathly allergic to flowers or chocolate. Basically—human specimens too dumb to deserve romance."

"What about the shooting?" Gwen asked. Owen snorted and reached for the last slice of pizza.

"Self-inflicted. Bloke declared his love to his best friend, who was clearly not feeling the love in return. He shot himself because he thought his suffering would be romantic." Owen glanced around at the stunned silence. "Exactly. He's not the first guy to be rejected, but when people are shooting themselves because this book makes them think it's romantic, something's really wrong."

"I like a good cocked hammer as much as the next guy, but I don't remember anything in the book about guns and romance," said Jack. "If the book is affecting people's perceptions of romance in violent ways, it could grow dangerous. We definitely need to start breaking the spell. Who wants to go on a road trip?" No one answered, and Jack huffed in annoyance. "Fine, Tosh—you came up with it, go see some sights. Owen, go with her so you can check on the locals."

Ianto glanced at Tosh, who looked surprised. Owen protested immediately, and her face went from surprised to disappointed.

"I'm not going to traipse around the country setting off invisible fireworks," he said. "Do you know how much driving that is? Across barren countryside? Why don't you go, get out of this hovel for a few days?"

"Because I run this hovel and need to be here in case of an emergency," Jack pointed out.

"So do I," Owen replied. "What if one of you lot gets injured trying to save the world without us?"

"Then we'll call an ambulance," Jack replied. "Better bedside manner."

"I could go, make it a girls' trip," Gwen offered. "As long as it's only a day or two. I'm meeting with the caterer on Thursday morning."

"It would take at least three days, if not more," Tosh said. "It's a lot of driving, especially up north, and the device needs to recharge overnight."

"Oh. Sorry, Tosh."

"It's fine," she said. "What about you, Ianto? You're good with tech, and then we'd always have the right directions, good food, and a decent place to sleep."

Jack's head snapped up with a frown. It didn't bother Ianto to go, as he and Tosh had become good friends over the last year. A part of him wanted to suggest Jack go with her, as neither of them went out much and he knew they would enjoy the time together, but Jack clearly did not want to leave the Hub for so long.

"Ianto and I are working with Shep," Jack told her. "We need to come up with a way to make sure this doesn't happen again."

"Or that he's not forced into making it happen again," Ianto added. "We were hoping you could help. Perhaps something similar to your pulse device."

"I can't help if I'm on the road," Tosh pointed out. "I need to be at the Hub working on it."

Everyone stared at one another. Ianto wondered why they weren't all chomping at the bit to get out of the Hub for several days, when they spent so much time complaining about the lack of personal time Torchwood offered. A part of him wouldn't mind going, but something held him back.

"Fine, we'll draw straws this afternoon," Jack said. "Tosh, run the rest of your tests and make sure this will work. Gwen, see about rescheduling your appointment. Everyone else keep doing what you were doing." He stood up and left the conference room, leaving the rest of them somewhat mystified at his abrupt change in behavior.

"What's got his knickers in a twist?" Owen asked. "Something happen while you were gone, teaboy?"

"We drove out to see Shep Samuelson, had a perfectly decent conversation with him, and drove back. Nothing unusual happened, unless you count some exceptionally light traffic for a Monday morning."

"Was it awkward?" Tosh asked quietly, as if Jack might hear them from wherever he was. "Or did you have a chance to talk about it?"

"It wasn't awkward, no," Ianto lied. "And there's nothing to talk about. We're both well aware of the circumstances surrounding the book."

"Which means they drove there and back in complete silence," Owen snarked. "Probably couldn't even look each other in the face."

"We didn't need to, Jack was driving." The tiny frown around Owen's eyes told him that the doctor suspected Ianto's double meaning. "I don't know what you're so worried about. It was fine. Everything's fine."

"Then you're still shagging?" Owen asked.

"Do you want to know next time?" Ianto asked. "I could send you an alert or something."

"Sod off," Owen muttered. "I don't want to know."

"Then don't ask."

Tosh had a thoughtful look on her face. It worried Ianto. "Maybe you and Jack should do it," she suggested, then backtracked on her choice of words when Ianto raised an eyebrow, Owen snorted, and Gwen giggled. "I mean, maybe you should take the device with Jack. Save the world, spend some quality time together."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "We're not saving the world, we're saving Great Britain from its own lack of creativity. And Jack doesn't want to leave the Hub, not for that long."

"He's gone to London and stayed over before," Tosh argued. "To meet with Whitehall, or UNIT. Maybe you could talk him into it."

"Absolutely not," Ianto replied, standing up. "It'd be three days of traveling, like taking a holiday together or something."

"What's wrong with that?" Tosh asked. "Besides, you'd be working—It's more like a business trip."

"Except that's not your point," Ianto said. "I'd be happy to make arrangements for anyone, but not for me and Jack." He left the conference room, wishing the feeling of disappointment would stop gnawing at his stomach. The idea of driving across the country for three days—of spending time with Jack, eating out, staying in nice hotels, exploring the world outside Cardiff—actually appealed to him.

They didn't do things like that, but maybe they could. Jack had tried doing something romantic, after all. Maybe traveling together was what they needed, but how could he make it happen when he'd already said no and Jack didn't want to leave the Hub? And were they ready if they did make the trip?

* * *

Jack called them all into the main part of the Hub late that afternoon. "For some reason, no one seems excited about actually leaving this hole in the ground and spending some time in the real world. So we're doing it the old-fashioned way—but instead of drawing straws, we're drawing cards. The two red cards get to go on a road trip while everyone else wonders why they stayed behind. Tosh, the cards?"

Tosh set down five cards on her desk. No one said anything, so Jack nodded and continued. Ianto thought he had an air of forced seriousness about him—as if he were trying to be strict but didn't have it in him. He wondered if Jack was up to something.

"Tosh has extended the range of the pulse as far as possible and reset the coordinates. Ianto has designed the most direct route, noting several restaurants and rest stops along the way as well as booking accommodations in—?" He turned to Ianto.

"Lincolnshire and Glasgow, with several recommendations for Thursday night depending on how far you want to travel." Tosh gave him a funny look that he ignored. "I've also hired a car and put together emergency supplies, snacks, and several thermoses of coffee. Packing is on your own."

"Tosh will explain the details to whomever who goes," Jack continued. "The plan is to spend seventy-two hours on the road and hit eight dispersal points. It may require a fourth night depending on traffic and travel times, and we should probably send someone to Ireland when they get back. We'll set off the first pulse here in Cardiff tonight and the two red cards will leave first thing in the morning for the southwest coast. Any questions?"

No one said anything, and Ianto tried to keep his face impassive. Everyone appeared nervous, with Tosh, Gwen, and Owen exchanging odd glances. Ianto thought Jack seemed both anxious and excited; he was definitely up to something, and Ianto wondered if the others were as well.

"All right, since no one is volunteering for what might be the best assignment to come along in weeks, we draw cards—myself included." He reached for the cards and was about the shuffle them when Owen stopped him.

"Hang on," said Owen. "Give the cards to teaboy. I don't trust you."

"Trust me to do what? Count cards?" Jack asked dryly. "There's only five."

"I've played cards with you, Harkness. You cheat. Give 'em to Ianto."

Jack looked somewhat annoyed, but shrugged as he handed Ianto the cards. He shuffled them several times and held them out for the team.

He tried not to hold his breath, watching as first Tosh, then Gwen, Owen, and Jack took their cards, leaving him with the last one. The odds were against him getting a red card, but he had a plan in case things looked to go in his favor.

"All right, let's see who's got the working holiday," Jack said. He sounded nervous. Everyone held out their cards but him. Gwen and Owen had black. Ianto had drawn a red nine. Tosh turned hers, revealing a black two. With a flourish, Jack showed his card—a red six—and grinned. It seemed impossible, but they were going on the road, together. Ianto blew out a silent sigh of relief and nodded in acknowledgement.

"Look at that," Jack said, sounding both happy and surprised. "The boss wins after all. Think you lot can survive three days without me?"

"I thought you didn't want to go," Owen said, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "And now you're excited?"

"Luck of the draw, Owen," Jack said.

"You cheated."

"I asked Tosh to pick the cards, right Tosh?"

"You did," she said.

"And Ianto shuffled them."

"I did."

"You still cheated," Owen muttered. "A six and a nine, my arse."

"You didn't want to go either," Tosh pointed out. "I don't know what you're complaining about."

"How about the fact that they get to spend the next three days shagging their way across the country? That doesn't seem fair."

"The cards have spoken, Owen," Jack said. "Unless you'd like to join us?"

"I'm sure the girls would enjoy the peace and quiet," Ianto murmured. Gwen laughed.

"Take him!" she exclaimed, then her eyes went wide. "With you, I mean. In the car. On the trip." Tosh giggled while Owen made a gagging sound.

"It's settled then. Owen stays, and you're in charge too." He held up a hand when Gwen started to protest. "You can be the boss another time," he told her. "There's a full moon tomorrow and I want him to suffer a little when the Weevils come out to play."

"Whatever, Harkness," Owen said as he walked away, flipping them two fingers over his shoulder. "I'm giving everyone a day off and a bonus while you're gone!"

Ianto rolled his eyes. "He forgets who actually controls the money around here." He turned to Tosh and Gwen. "And don't worry, there's no full moon."

"Owen doesn't know that," Jack said with a grin.

"And we won't tell him, will we?" Tosh laughed.

"Of course not. We'll be fine," Gwen told them both. Ianto was surprised at how quickly she had accepted Owen being in charge. "You two have a good time. You've earned it."

"Not sure how, but thanks," Jack said. "Get that pulse ready, Tosh, so I can start packing." He headed toward his office, hands tucked into his pocket and whistling an old jazz tune. Ianto narrowed his eyes, still wondering what he was up to, but Tosh was talking.

"Is it okay that you drew the red card, Ianto?" she asked. "I could switch with you if things are still uncomfortable between you and Jack."

"What?" he asked before he realized what she was offering. "No, it's okay, Tosh. I appreciate the offer, but we'll be fine."

"I thought you said it would be like taking a holiday together?" Gwen asked.

Ianto shrugged. "It's more of a business trip."

Gwen laughed and shook her head. "Enjoy your  _business_ , then," she teased. "I'm going to give Rhys a call and let him know the plan worked."

"What plan?" Ianto asked, immediately suspecting there was much more going on that he knew.

She gave him a gap-toothed grin. "The plan for the book. I'll be back in a few minutes." She grinned at Tosh and turned to leave, heading away for some privacy.

"That's not the plan she meant, is it?" Ianto asked Tosh, crossing his hands over his chest.

"I don't know what you mean." She went over to her computer and pretended to start working.

"Tosh," he asked, following her and lowering his voice. "What did you do?"

"I got you three days off from making us coffee six times a day," she replied lightly.

"How?" He stretched it out, wondering how she had pulled it off—and if Jack was involved.

"By making sure you got a red card," she replied with a casual shrug.

"And Jack?"

"Well, he got one too, didn't he?" she asked in mock wonder. "What a coincidence!"

"Yes, it is—so how did you manage it? Some kind of tech trick?"

She rolled her eyes at him, always a strange feeling when he was normally the one giving them out. "Of course not. We knew which ones were red, so we avoided them."

"We?" he asked. Owen's protests and Gwen's lack of them made more sense now.

"It took some talking, but I convinced them," she said. "Though I'm surprised Owen stuck to the plan. He even hammed it up!" She grinned. "Are you glad?"

"I'm confused," he admitted. "How did you make sure we got the red cards—and why?"

"Small nick in the corner," she replied. "All we had to do was make sure we went first and leave them for you and Jack."

"But why?" he pressed. "Jack said he didn't want to leave the Hub for that long."

"Apparently, he changed his mind," she told him. "I saw him practicing sleight of hand—exchanging a black card for a red card up his sleeve. He's actually quite good," she admitted. "And he obviously wanted to go with you, not one of us. He spent half the afternoon either staring at you or looking up bed and breakfasts in the Lake District."

He ignored that last. "I told you I didn't want to go. That it was too much like a holiday."

She crossed her hands over her chest and gave him a very pointed look. "Ianto Jones, you're a liar. You clearly booked those hotels for you and Jack, and you have reservations—not recommendations—at three exceptionally nice restaurants."

"What?" he sputtered, trying to sound indignant and probably failing. "How do you know what restaurants and hotels I picked?"

"You were quiet and sneaky this afternoon—more than usual—so I peaked," she admitted.

"You spied on me?"

"Naturally," she replied. "I figured if Jack was planning something, you probably were too."

"Well, I chose nice restaurants and hotels for whomever drew the cards," Ianto told her, feeling like he needed to at least try to protest.

"You picked the nicest seafood restaurant in Skegness and a hot jazz club in Glasgow," she said. "We all know Jack loves jazz. Does he like seafood too?"

"You do," Ianto pointed out. "So does Gwen, she loves crab. I was planning for anyone."

"Owen hates the smell of fish," she reminded him. "And Gwen doesn't like old-fashioned music. Besides, you only booked one hotel room."

"We are all capable of sharing a room," he replied.

"With a king-size bed."

"It was all that was available last minute."

"Gwen's engaged," Tosh said, shaking her head. "Not sure how Rhys would feel about her sharing a room with you or Owen." She paused. "Or Jack."

"Yes, well—" he started, fully prepared to explain it away.

"That bed and breakfast on the coast looks quaint—and romantic. The Carlton George is a nice contrast, very posh, and I love the place on Loch Lomond, but none of them are what we usually book at Torchwood."

"I wanted to try something new," Ianto told her with a shrug. She was good, he had to admit.

"Obviously, since you booked a fourth night in Liverpool and paid for it all yourself," she said, going in for the kill. "Not to mention you hired a brilliant sports car for the drive. So how were you going to make sure it was you and Jack?"

Ianto gave up. "I figured if he got a red card and I didn't, I could talk you and Owen into switching. Gwen…I probably would have made up a wedding emergency," he admitted sheepishly.

"And if you got a red card and he didn't?" she asked curiously.

"He cheats," Ianto told her. "He would have been ready." She burst out laughing and he couldn't help but join her.

"So you were counting on Jack cheating for your plan to work?"

"And you saw him practicing, so I was right, wasn't I? But my plan only worked if he or I got a red card," Ianto pointed out. "If you and Gwen had picked them, then you'd be enjoying the trip and I'd be making a few changes. Therefore, you win for deviousness."

"Thank you, and you're welcome," she said with a laugh.

Jack poked his head out of his office at that moment. "Ianto! Can we go over the route for tomorrow? I'd hate to get lost in the middle of nowhere with a gorgeous Welshman."

"Which means he's trying to figure out exactly how to get lost in the middle of nowhere," Ianto murmured to Tosh.

"Better keep him in line," Tosh suggested. "Or you'll be gone a week!"

"Then I should pack the—never mind." He winked as he walked away, leaving Tosh laughing behind him. He entered Jack's office, starting to feel excited about the week.

"Want to shut the door?" Jack asked, taking his feet off his desk and leaning forward.

"Not really," Ianto replied, leaving it wide open and taking a seat by Jack's desk. "They're already taking the piss, so why give them more to work with?"

Jack nodded. "They think we fixed the draw."

"No, they fixed the draw," Ianto told him. "We're being thrown out."

Jack looked genuinely surprised. "How? And why?"

"Exactly what I asked Tosh," Ianto replied. "She fixed the cards, though she never quite said why."

Jack shook his head. "She's devious," he said. "We need to watch out for her."

"I thanked her as well."

"So you're okay with this?" Jack asked, leaning forward and propping his head on his chin. "Just us, three days in the car…"

"Regular hours, comfortable beds, good food, beautiful countryside—yes, I'm okay with it." Ianto smiled. "And just us isn't so bad either."

Jack's smile was positively dazzling. "So what's the plan? Where are we staying? Where are we eating? I've got some ideas if you need anything—a few restaurants, a nice bed and breakfast I found in Cumbria..." He trailed off at the look on Ianto's face.

"All taken care of, sir," Ianto replied. "Rooms and reservations. If we leave by eight tomorrow, we should be in Plymouth by midmorning to set off the first pulse and free the poor people of Cornwall and Devon of the book's dubious influence. Lunch in Exeter, or perhaps Amesbury if we want to squeeze in Stonehenge, then we stop outside London for the second pulse before heading north into Lincolnshire for the night. We've a room on the coast, with stops in Barnard Castle and Glasgow the next day. We should see Archie, but I have dinner reservations for two at Oran Mor with a suite at the Carlton George."

Jack whistled. "Wow, I'm impressed. And even more glad we drew the cards! After that?"

"Bring your kilt—Thursday takes us up past Inverness, then back over to Skye and down to Cameron House at Loch Lomond for the night."

"Seriously?" Jack asked, his eyes wide. "That's a lot of driving, but the hotel alone will be worth it. I've always wanted to stay there!"

Ianto shrugged. "We can sleep in, enjoy the area in the morning, then take our time heading south for the last pulse. I thought maybe lunch in Penrith, and dinner and hotel in Liverpool. Blakes Restaurant, perhaps?"

"That's a fourth night," Jack pointed out, but he was smiling.

"It's quite a long drive from the tip of Scotland to the south of Wales," Ianto replied. "We've eight stops, from Plymouth to Brora, covering almost three thousand kilometers. A fourth night seems well earned."

"Sounds like you put a lot of thought into this," Jack mused.

"It is an unusual assignment," Ianto replied, enjoying the banter. "It seemed prurient to secure appropriate lodgings."

"We usually book much simpler, eat on the go," Jack pointed out. "How much is this setting us back?"

Ianto shrugged. "Right now, the holds are all on my credit card. It'll set us back however much you approve for reimbursement."

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you planned this for the two of us."

Ianto smiled. "I was considering the possibility, yes. According to the red card in your sleeve, you were as well."

Jack produced the card with a flourish. "How did you know?"

"Tosh saw you practicing," Ianto admitted. "And I was banking on a cheat."

"I figured if you got a red card and I didn't, I'd switch them."

"But then there would have been three red cards," Ianto pointed out.

"I was going to take one out as I shuffled," Jack admitted. "But then Owen made me give you the pile."

"You should have picked the cards yourself."

"I was trying to maintain the appearance of honesty," Jack laughed. "Turns out I'm not the only one around here who's not!"

Ianto smiled with him. "Maybe we should have volunteered," he said. "Saved ourselves the trouble."

"Wouldn't have been as much fun," Jack said. "Or as much of a nice surprise. I'm looking forward to it, you know."

"As am I," Ianto said, standing up. "If you don't mind, however, I have several things I want to finish around here before we leave. One of which includes setting up automatic food deliveries while we're gone."

"They are capable of feeding themselves," Jack laughed.

"I know, but we'll be eating much better, and I thought I'd send them at least one meal that didn't involve pizza or chips."

"You're too nice," Jack teased, standing with him and following him to the door. Before Ianto could leave however, Jack shut the door, a funny look on his face. "Thank you," he said, taking Ianto's hand. "For an amazing time."

"We haven't left yet," Ianto replied, his heart beating slightly faster.

"But it will be," Jack said, before leaning forward to kiss him. It wasn't a long and seductive kiss, but short and sweet with the promise of more.

"You'll stay at mine tonight?" Ianto asked. "Early start and all that."

"As long as you don't keep me up late," Jack replied.

"Come over early, then," Ianto said. "Because we have to pack as well."

"That's what you really want from me, isn't it?" Jack teased. "A well-packed suitcase!"

"There will be time for more," Ianto promised. "Especially over the next four days."

"Quite a list?" Jack asked, but his smile wasn't teasing, it was genuine.

"Quite a list," Ianto murmured. This time he leaned forward to kiss Jack, sorely tempted to step back into Jack's office and take it further. But he didn't. They both had work to do, things to prep for their absence. There would more than enough time for all kinds of extracurricular activities on the road, and Ianto couldn't wait.

He'd woken up that morning to breakfast in bed, convinced something was wrong with Jack after so many uncharacteristically romantic gestures. Unfortunately, he'd been right, and though Jack had been compelled by the words of an alien book, he'd also been acting on an honest desire to show both Ianto and the others that he was serious about his relationship with Ianto. It was an unexpected confession, one that left Ianto feeling ashamed of his doubts, and confused about his own feelings. Spending the rest of the week together driving the length and breadth of the country would help him sort out both.

He'd tried to do everything he could to plan for a trip they would both enjoy and remember, booking the best hotels and restaurants along their route. Some of them might even be considered romantic, and Ianto hoped that Jack would appreciate the choices he'd made. A part of him worried that Jack might be overwhelmed and decide it was too much, that romance wasn't for them after all. Yet as he moved about the Hub pulling together everything the rest of the team would need during their absence, Ianto told himself that it was Jack who had wanted to show he was more serious when he'd bought the book. It was Jack who had planned to cheat at the card draw, who had done his own research for the trip. And it was Jack who had kissed him and thanked him for an amazing time before they'd even left.

Ironically enough, it was Shep Samuelson's book on romance that had made it possible. There might not be flowers and pancakes any time soon, but Ianto was okay with that. They could be romantic in their own way, starting with their first road trip together.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! There may or may not be an epilogue—probably not, but sometimes after I post the end of a story, the epilogue suddenly appears. In my mind, Jack and Ianto go on their road trip, they have a wonderful time with no complications, and they grow closer. There's not much to add, aside from the team giving them a hard time when they return. This chapter took enough work - trying to figure out how to fix the draw and then actually printing a map of the UK to get a rough idea of their trip. The things we do! Thank you for reading this story, I appreciate all the comments and support and hope you enjoyed it.


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